CHANGE IS NEVER EASY
Updated: Jan 14, 2022
Have you ever had the unexpected happen and take you completely off track from your goals?
Nearly 3 years ago to the date, my husband and I set out to launch Rich by Intention.
Way back in 2018, we had just celebrated our 1-year wedding anniversary and were excited because we just paid off our 6-figure student loan debt 3 years ahead of our goal date.
We were ready to begin helping other couples get intentional with their finances.
We were designing our website, creating dope content, recording podcast episodes, and then the most life-altering event happened....
Days into working on RBI, we found out the most unexpected news....kinda
I had not been feeling like myself as RJ and I worked on content and had late nights recording our podcast. I couldn't put my finger on it, but I knew something was off.
For some reason, I decided to take a pregnancy test.
I said to myself "I know I am not pregnant, but let me just take it anyway".
I quietly took the test without even telling RJ. I didn't even wait to look at the results, I placed it on the nightstand and plopped myself back on the sofa.
Minutes later, I went back to our bedroom to check the test that I "knew" was not going to tell me I was pregnant. I picked it up and let out a silent scream, tears began falling down my eyes....I was indeed pregnant.
I ran into the other room to show RJ the test and we both sat holding each other, filled with joy, excitement, and shock.
We had been wanting to start a family, but somehow, we were still hit with a surprise that we were actually pregnant. We were extremely grateful that we were going to bring a life into the world.
Days passed by and my morning sickness started to set in and shortly I was in the full throes of pregnancy, with aches, pains, and fatigue...can any moms relate?
Let’s just say all the work we put into RBI was put on hold and we ultimately decided to put all our energy into bringing a healthy baby into the world.
Giving birth to my daughter put me in awe. There are simply no words to describe the overwhelming wonder and joy I felt holding my little girl, my angel, my gift from God for the very first time.
I came back to reality shortly after, however. The pain from my unplanned c-section started to become unbearable and a few days after being discharged from the hospital, my blood pressure was through the roof. I ended up having to see specialists and had a trip to the trauma unit at my local hospital within one-week post-delivery. My first days as a mother were mostly away from my little girl trying to figure out what in the world was going on with my body.
Now looking back, I didn’t realize how much pregnancy and now, motherhood would change me. Being a mother has been the greatest joy of my life, but I wouldn't be honest if I didn’t say that my body and mind felt different after giving birth, and that weighed on me greatly.
Balancing my new role as a working mother was difficult. When I went back to work I didn’t feel like me, I didn't feel as sharp as I once was, it was hard to find my words (mommy brain?) and I was away from my little girl for more than 10 hours a day. On top of that, I had a new boss to impress...it...was..hard to say the least.
I am now in a place where I am getting back to myself, albeit a slightly altered, less organized version of me. I have come to terms that now that I am a mother, I am different and that is OK.
How can you not be different when you have the well-being of a tiny human on your brain 24/7?
Motherhood is a gift and I am grateful that I can be on this journey with my angel.
Change is never easy and accepting change is even harder, but the goal is to always keep moving forward.